“Stuff Happens”: A Comparative Guide to Religions

Oddkin's Thoughts


According to a popular bumper sticker, “stuff happens.”1 And there’s a lot of truth to that. A lot of things (both good and bad) happen that seem to defy explanation.

One of the easiest ways to tell the various religions apart is the way they respond to this “stuff.” In that vein, I have developed this (somewhat humorous) guide to the world’s religions, based on the phrase “stuff happens”:


Arminian/Methodist – stuff happens because God gave us free will.

Baptist – (Bad) stuff will happen if you drink, smoke, or dance.

Buddhism – Stuff happens because of our attachments.

Calvinism – God has predestined this stuff to happen.

Catholicism – Hail Mary, full of grace, do your stuff.

Deism – Stuff happened once, long ago.

Eastern Orthodox – This stuff is a great mystery.

Episcopalian – Stuff happens in a glorious procession.

Free Methodist – We have the…

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