Obama’s Apocalyptic Clocks of Doom

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My attempt at satire:

The xenophobic Islamophobs were right! I bet a damn Syrian refugee taught little Ahmed how to make these apocalyptic clocks of doom. And Obama bringing him to the White House means they are gonna do their secret Muslim meetings and plot the downfall of America through homemade clocks that they’ll sale to China who in turn will sell them to the American people for 4X the amount for which they bought them from Obama and his team of radical Islamist clock makers.

All in order to break the middle class who already can’t afford clocks. So Obama will bring in all Islamic radical clock making refugees to make all the clocks and turn the entire country into radical Islamic clock making believers.

Anyone resisting Obama’s well timed power grab (pardon the pun) will be forced out of the United States of Islamic Clock Makers and into exile where they will wander for 40 years until Republican Jesus returns with his guns and Rebel flags to defeat Obama and throw away all the watches and restore the United States to its rich and glorious Christian roots where slavery is okay again and we can kill all the feminists, liberals, and homosexuals.

Negros shall pick cotton. Women shall submit to what any man says. White men shall own all the land. These will be the good ole days after the tribulation ushered in by Obama and those damn Muslims and their clocks, who by the way will be forced into Christianity or death if they reject.

Hallelujah. Amen. May it come to pass.

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